Neon Maniacs' Weird Flaws Make It Even More of a Cult Classic

In a secret lair under the Golden Gate Bridge hides a group of humanoids, territorial mutants not unlike The hills have eyeseach with a distinctive “look” reminiscent of the Village People, and perhaps robots too? They emerge with one goal: to terrify the teenagers of San Francisco. The stars of the title Neon maniacs have a lot of potential, which unfortunately remains unexplored. But the cult filmreleased in 1986, still manages to entertain.

Despite a few long shots of the famous bridge, complete with some strategic foghorn sound effects, Neon maniacs appears to have been filmed almost entirely in Los Angeles – forgivable, since one has to assume that most of the film's modest budget was spent on special effects. Directed by Joseph Mangine and written by Mark Patrick Carducci, Neon maniacs has a recognizable actor: Leilani Sarelle, who a few years later played Sharon Stone's jealous girlfriend in Basic instinct. Here, it's about Natalie, who is the only survivor after her friends decide to throw her an outdoor party in a park adjacent to the Neon Maniacs grounds. Worst birthday ever! Then the Maniacs start stalking her, intending to clean up their unfinished business.

Quickly brought into this drama are Steven (Alan Hayes), who has a crush on Natalie from afar and ends up acting out once all his other friends are dead, and Paula (Donna Locke), a young teenager obsessed with monster movies. (a tomboy, she wears a Stranger baseball cap throughout the film), who angers the Maniacs when she attempts to videotape them outside their hideout.

As in many horror films of this era, the parents are all under surveillance (Natalie's parents are on vacation in Europe) and the cops do not take the children's admittedly far-fetched stories seriously, despite ample evidence that suggest something is not good. Like, for example, numerous missing teenagers and a completely clean crime scene, except for scattered puddles of unidentifiable slime.

Things come to a head during a high school battle of the bands: one is a band led by Steven that sounds like a Rick Springfield tribute act; the other is like a Motley Crue video come to life – when the Neon Maniacs crash, blending in easily because it's “Freak Frolic Night” and everyone is dressed like a monster. Luckily, uh, the Neon Maniacs melt when they come into contact with water, and Paula is able to find a pipe in time.

It's a pretty silly plot that doesn't hit many curveballs, but there's a very distinct feeling that Neon maniacs had aspirations of being a much more detailed and epic film. It opens with a very solemn voiceover: “When the world is ruled by violence and the soul of humanity fades, the path of children will be darkened by the shadows of the Neon Maniacs” – which teases a great mythology to come. Then, in the opening scene, a guy trying his luck fishing near the Golden Gate Bridge stumbles upon what looks like trading cards showing the Neon Maniacs in menacing poses, dressed in their iconic outfits: the Samurai! The sadistic doctor! The guy with the ax! The other guy with the rope! The half-man/half-monkey! The Cyclops with alligator skin!

Who took these photos, and what these trading cards are for, is never explained, but that's a small matter compared to the fact that we never learn. Nothing about the Neon Maniacs. For example, where did they come from? Were they created by an invisible mad scientist? Why do they live in a secret compartment under a bridge? Why are they so crazy about killing? Why, when one of them loses an arm, does it look like a robotic arm? What is the muddy mud they leave behind? Why do they all become Wicked Witches of the West when they get wet?

These are questions only the late screenwriter Carducci, who went on to co-write and receive a co-story credit for Stan Winston's 1988 creature feature. Pumpkin head; he also wrote a 1987 episode of Tales from the dark side…maybe knew the answers. No doubt original intentions for Neon maniacs involved going a lot further with the monsters, but you can sense that the production didn't go smoothly. One big sign: If you look at the credits, you'll see that almost all of the individual Maniacs were played by multiple actors, suggesting a stop-and-start filming schedule.

However, if you don't mind not knowing exactly what's going on with the Neon Maniacs – or suffering from Steven's atrocious taste in rock n' roll (you never know who wins the battle of the bands, think about it !) –Neon maniacs is a surprisingly enjoyable oddity and worthy of its cult status. Paula's character elevates it into that meta-category of “monster movies starring characters who love monster movies”, and there's a certain awkwardness that comes with hideous creatures that can't stand anything but water or chased by a group of teenagers armed with water guns.

Neon maniacs arrives on Shudder on December 9.

Want more io9 news? Find out when to expect the latest news Wonder, Star WarsAnd Star Trek exits, what is the next step for the DC Universe in cinema and televisionand everything you need to know about the future of Doctor Who.