Justin Baldoni talks about his experience filming 'It Ends With Us'

Actor and director Justin Baldoni is ready to talk about his filming experience It ends with us.

Several months after controversies surrounding Colleen Hoover's film adaptation erupted, the 40-year-old has spoken candidly about the arduous filming and how it affected him physically and emotionally — which he continues to tackle today.

Chatting with Elizabeth Day about her How to fail podcast, Justin opened up about how a recent ADHD diagnosis amplified dark feelings while filming It ends with us.

“Directing is a very lonely job, I'm just going to be very frank,” says Baldoni, who played love interest Ryle Kincaid, explaining further, “because you're kind of at the top of that totem pole. In your moments calm, everyone has a thousand questions to ask you and no one wants to disturb you.

THE Joan the Virgin The alum also shared that the exalted position of directing a film doesn't give much leeway to express stress or frustration to others on set.

“You don’t really have a lot of people to talk to,” he continued. PopCulture“and you can't necessarily share your anxiety or nervousness about something because you're also the leader.”

In addition to directing, Baldoni also had to channel Ryle's abusive mindset on camera.

Noting duality as “a very strange place”, there were times when Justin had to step away from filming to “get by” to the best of his ability – which didn't always help.

“I did a lot of somatic therapy, so there were times when I was shaking,” he recalls.

“There's a moment in the film where Ryle finds Lily (Blake Lively) phone and he finds a phone number. He is very jealous, he is heartbroken and he is angry. He doesn't hurt her but you can see in his eyes how dangerous he is. After that scene, I almost collapsed.”

Baldoni said he needed a break from “crying and shaking because there was so much pain.”

Shooting on It ends with us completed in early 2024 following a postponement due to the 2023 WGA strikes.

According to Justin, it would take him four months to completely break away from the role of Ryle.

“[Ryle] lived in my body,” Baldoni explained. “What is difficult to have [a character like] that in your body lives the trauma [you] of what he experienced.

“I [even] “I had dreams like him for a while,” he further admitted, “but I think, for the most part, he came out 1733568842.”

Later in the How to fail podcast, Baldoni discussed a shocking experience during a “toxic relationship” from his college years.

While attending Long Beach State, Justin says he met a “beautiful young lady” while shopping at Abercrombie and Fitch.

Unfortunately, the mating proved disastrous from the start.

“I got into this relationship because I was trying to fill a hole and a void where I just didn't feel like I was enough,” he explained.

“I had strong values, opinions and beliefs,” says Baldoni, “and these were very easily manipulated and reshaped to the point that within a few months I completely lost any sense of self that I had. 'I had it left. And it got very emotional.

At one point, Baldoni “experienced sexual trauma” that sent him into an emotional spiral.

“[I] I struggled with that trauma for the rest of my life,” he explained, “because, in my head, a man cannot experience sexual trauma at the hands of a woman. It's the way society has somehow made me feel like it's only the other way around, when in reality it can happen. »

Although he didn't detail what exactly happened, Justin confirmed that he lost his virginity during the heinous act.

“[I] I was hoping to save myself for marriage, and that’s as detailed as I’m going to go into the story,” he said.

A therapy session as an adult would finally start the healing process.

“One day my therapist asked me, 'Justin, you do a lot of work in this space: If a woman told you this story, what would you call her?' And that's when I broke.

If you haven't seen It ends with usyou're lucky! The film will begin streaming on Netflix on December 9. It is also available on DVD and BluRay.